Well, she’s here. Our little bundle of happiness is two months old and the light of my life. After spending five weeks in prelabor, we finally induced on the Ides of March for an otherwise all-natural labor.
It was the single most physically agonizing experience of my life.
But, oh, it was so worth it. I have never loved so much or so hard. The moment they laid her in my arms I was utterly enamored by her, and it’s only grown more powerful since. It’s also finally starting to sink in that I’m a mama.
A mama.
There are so many meaning behind the word. So many responsibilities. Mother’s Day was last Sunday, the very first I was able to spend as an official mother. While I celebrated by snuggling and loving on my sweet little girl, I thought about the ways that motherhood has evolved over the years. Gone are the days where the majority of women spend their days in the home. Many now go back to work as soon as their maternity leave is over, putting their babies in daycare. Few are blessed with the ability to stay home as caretaker or work from home. Luckily for me, J is able to provide for us, so I am able to take time off from the shop to look after K and recuperate. I’ll then be able to work from home, so I won’t miss out on any of her milestones.
I am so, so lucky.
Yet with that luck comes the task of managing my time, learning my daughter’s schedule, and trying to be productive even when she hasn’t slept all night (so neither have we). It will take some juggling, but it’s worth it to me because in the end, she will have a mother who can honestly say she did the best she could, both professionally and at home. She’ll have someone she will (hopefully) look up to, the same way I looked up to my mother and my grandmother as a child, working women who did the absolute best they could for their families.
Good mothers are the backbone of the family. They keep it steady, they keep it stable, and they strong. I hope I’m able to be that kind of mother.
